Thursday, June 30, 2011

Barney the Beaver & Canada Day

So, Barney the Beaver and I are going to celebrate Canada Day together. It is not that we are enamoured with each other’s company, but there doesn’t seem to be anybody else around to celebrate with. That is, nobody with an intricate sense of Canadiability, as compared to those who simply try to politely empathize with our Canadian sentiment. The problem, it appears, is that I am way out  here in the desert, and Barney... well Barney made a wrong turn somewhere. I mean, when was the last time you saw a beaver in the desert? And unfortunately, contrary to common belief - and this may surprise you - beavers don’t really know how to party.

I thought balloons would be a nice touch, but Barney vetoed that. Something to do with the death of a family relative. And even though he knows that I don’t like to drink alone, he just wants some wood to chew on. That wouldn’t be all that bad, if it weren’t for the splinters I found in my whiskey.

So, how does one celebrate Canada Day down in the desert? Actually, Canada Day is rather new for me. When growing up, we called it “Dominion Day”, and the real celebration with barbecues and firecrackers was on Victoria Day. We were still struggling for a Canadian identity at the time. But we can see how far we have come now that the newly wed Royal Couple are coming to celebrate Canada Day with us - on their first international visit. (Barney has a secret crush on Kate, but you didn’t hear that from me.)

You do miss out on things in the desert. I’d actually sell out my soul and celebrate the 4th of July here with Americans, if only for the hot dogs and baseball in the park. But all of the Americans seem to be on holiday, and there is no softball sized park. Barney claims that he is known as “homerun Barney” because of the wicked swing of his tail. I don’t think we will be putting this to a test, though, any time soon.

I discovered last year that I could listen in to some of the celebrations live - straight from Canada. The only problem is, these celebrations start late evening - Canadian time - which is the middle of our night. And Barney told me that he is not staying up past 10 p.m. - our time. Something about getting up early to build a dam. I told him to be sure to hurry, for it could rain again in October. That’s another thing about beavers: no sense of humour.

But still, it is good having Barney around to celebrate Canada Day with. He is dressed appropriately with his Canada scarf and Canada tuque. He also knows quite a few Canadian ditties, although his voice does tend to screech, at times. A case of wood indigestion, from what I understand.

I hope the rest of you are getting ready to party.

No comments:

Post a Comment